It is an unremarkable thursday in the city of Vancouver, but then again, perhaps it is remarkable because everyday is a miracle. To be alive in this moment in time, to breathe, to be.

It is 5 o'clock in the afternoon and I am sitting in the lounge of Vancouver Central Hostel. The sky has clouded over and a quiet mood has settled over the people inside. Something stirs inside of me, I can feel it drawing close, ready to be born into the person who I am. I sit pensively before the computer screen glow, contemplating what type of dream I have created for myself. It's like standing before a vast ocean of possibility, unsure of whether to jump in or to retreat back into myself. I wonder what I am doing here.

I know I'm looking for something, or perhaps I'm looking for everything. the 7 years in Edmonton were tough. I think it took me that long to get over the depression that began in my childhood. Looking into the future now, I am not afraid of what lies ahead, because when I look behind me, I know I have within me the strength to overcome anything. If life is about conquering the demons within ourselves, then Edmonton gave me the ability to conquer my pain.

So what exactly am I looking for now? What are my new dreams?

I think above everything, my heart desires a home. This is my 5th time moving in a year and a half and a certain feeling of impermanence and homelessness has been with me a lot longer than that. I believe it began when I moved to Edmonton. On the verge of puberty, I no longer felt safe with my family, my friends, or even with myself. After so many years of that, I feel pretty tired. For whatever length of time, I really think it's time to settle myself down for a bit, and for once believe that things aren't going to fall apart. I want to believe in life again, I want to believe in people and that there is something magical about being here.

The dream of Edmonton has ended and the dream of this beautiful seaside city begins. Wish me luck.