Well, by tomorrow night it will have been a week since my arrival here. The first week has been pretty rough, but I find that the roller coaster of life's emotions is a lot more bearable these days, beautiful even. I am happy tonight, and I was happy last night as well. It's all about letting go, and pushing away the things that you can't control. I think that people feel so powerless that they try to control everything, planning ther futures so that their entire life is an endless string of expectations. How can one ever be happy that way? It's life's adventure that brings light to the darkness. It's the possiblity of a happy ending, the possibility of meeting someone to share love with, the possibility that tomorrow something totally unexpected can happen and set you on a new path that makes life worth living.

I am waking now. I am waking up from the daydream I put myself into so that I wouldn't have to face up to my dreams. All I could think about this last week was how possibily I would come to and leave this place unchanged and without having moved forward. But I see now how impossible that is. Life has a way of making sure that you grow, and if you resist it, it finds a way to force you to open your eyes. Like most people in this world, I have resisted growing, afraid of the pain and confusion it brings.

Now my entire life spreads out in front of me and I see now that I have to stop trying to control the future, stop worrying about what might happen and what might not. The moment creates the future, and I have to start living in the moment in able to manifest what I truly desire. I feel like I am ready for that.

"To see life for what it is, to live life for what it is, is the light of every human being."

Stopping the Rose

We travel great distances, longing
for something to give us goosebumps
stir the hair on the back of our necks
to make us quiver and weep.

While there it is, right in our squinting eyes
sunsets melt across the sky, echoes inside
and we would do anything to make it last
stop the world here, this year
this day, this hour, this instant
this place and no other.

-Jackie Bell