The anger is rising again these days. I dont know, I dont know what this means exactly.
...in the dream, I am with friends. We are preparing to meet the beast, a child with a monsters face...
I dont know quite how to explain it, but it is as if my past is layering with my present. Something is surfacing, something from the deep.
When the anger comes, it vibrates from the caves of my humanity. Something so fundamental, so real, so undeniably present. It is alive with a voice of it's own. Let me out it screams to me, let me go, let me be, let me fly out into the world and turn into something beautiful, into something worth more than what I am.
...every one of us has a dragon inside of oursevles...
What is this dragon, this beast? What does it look like, how does it speak? How does it change who you are and make you into something more? How do you learn to ride it? How do you keep it from devouring you, to stop it from turning you into ashes?
...from the ashes, the phoenix will fly...
These are confusing times. The world will never be the same for me again and sometimes that is a hard thing to understand. It's so easy to become a prisoner of the past, to relive moments over and over again in your life, each time a little different but always ending up with the same result. Always the same fear, the same failure to move on into something more. I guess the anger comes from that, it is the soul yearning for life, being ignored over and over again. It is the heart that wants to cry or laugh or love, yet you hold back and keep it in a box.
I can't live in a box anymore. I can't do this anymore. I can't I can't I can't. I hate being so frickin scared all the time, all the time it's like a smothering hand that doesn't allow me to breathe. A mask hiding the stars, the stars that burn through so brightly, so beautiful, so beyond reach. I am struggling hard to break these chains, to fly. to go up and up. to be who i want to be. I need to do that, I can't wait anymore...I just can't.
These changes are so beyond me, so powerful like god's hand pushing me, pulling me, slapping me saying wake up!!! I say slap me more, pull me more, throw me so hard that I fly into the universe. Let my heart beat out into your ears, into mine, into the place from where we came. Let me live.
...in the dream, I am with friends. We are preparing to meet the beast, a child with a monsters face...
I dont know quite how to explain it, but it is as if my past is layering with my present. Something is surfacing, something from the deep.
When the anger comes, it vibrates from the caves of my humanity. Something so fundamental, so real, so undeniably present. It is alive with a voice of it's own. Let me out it screams to me, let me go, let me be, let me fly out into the world and turn into something beautiful, into something worth more than what I am.
...every one of us has a dragon inside of oursevles...
What is this dragon, this beast? What does it look like, how does it speak? How does it change who you are and make you into something more? How do you learn to ride it? How do you keep it from devouring you, to stop it from turning you into ashes?
...from the ashes, the phoenix will fly...
These are confusing times. The world will never be the same for me again and sometimes that is a hard thing to understand. It's so easy to become a prisoner of the past, to relive moments over and over again in your life, each time a little different but always ending up with the same result. Always the same fear, the same failure to move on into something more. I guess the anger comes from that, it is the soul yearning for life, being ignored over and over again. It is the heart that wants to cry or laugh or love, yet you hold back and keep it in a box.
I can't live in a box anymore. I can't do this anymore. I can't I can't I can't. I hate being so frickin scared all the time, all the time it's like a smothering hand that doesn't allow me to breathe. A mask hiding the stars, the stars that burn through so brightly, so beautiful, so beyond reach. I am struggling hard to break these chains, to fly. to go up and up. to be who i want to be. I need to do that, I can't wait anymore...I just can't.
These changes are so beyond me, so powerful like god's hand pushing me, pulling me, slapping me saying wake up!!! I say slap me more, pull me more, throw me so hard that I fly into the universe. Let my heart beat out into your ears, into mine, into the place from where we came. Let me live.
posted by QC at 10:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home