I sit my room, in the dark, under the blue lamp's glow. I think about the future and what may come. A pain runs smoothly under my chest, softly pulsing, softly moving through the veins of my heart and talking to me. It moves into my arms, into my soul, or maybe the soul is where it comes from. And so it cycles through the fabric of my being, dancing with me, telling me that I am alive.

Where do I go from here? How do I face this pain, this loneliness that is becoming too strong to ignore? I tried hard to suppress it, to cover it with dreams of grandeur and worldy things. But it is the heavens that I so long to reach for, the infiniteness of unleashed love, the beauty, the power of it. How healing it can be, how strong it's currents that drag you under, surrounding you. The warmth of its fleeting caress.

There are still many distances to walk, to climb until I can rest. I feel that from the center of my being. I feel the path that stretches out in front of me and know that I have yet to take the second step.

In the dream the black man and the black woman tell me that I must leave this place, this island of life in the middle of a harsh reality. The African desert spreads out in front of me, grand in its vastness. They tell me that I must head into the desert and back into the world. The journey is long, and very lonely. A sadness fills me but I know that I must leave, that I must leave everything behind.

I am unsure of where my life will take me next, but whatever decision I will make it will come soon. I am sure of that. Wherever I choose to go, wherever I choose to be will begin my journey for the next few years. The first phase of Vancouver was my base camp to climbing Everest. Now I am moving on.