I am closing chapters, I am ending. It seems a whole lifetime has passed here, it seems that everything before here has faded into shadow. And now the city itself is retreating. I am pulling my awareness from its streets.

Only now, in these darkening moments of the dream, have I began to realize the massiveness of the endeavor here. I sank into the depths of the abyss, breaking apart the walls of former illusions and letting go of pasts I no longer wished to remember. I was destroyed, fractured into pieces I wasn't sure I would ever put together again.

But now, now I feel whole and free. I feel like a new day is finally beginning. From the darkness of the moon I rise into the glory of the sun.

Within the last few weeks I have spent here, a new thought is emerging - I am becoming a man. This arcane feeling rises and stirs for moments at a time and I am uncertain at what it means. I only know that I feel this solidness, this awareness of an unbreakable rock within me, this knowing that somehow I have a found a part of myself that will never change again. It makes me feel safe and certain. I am sure that further exploration in regards to this lies ahead in Edmonton.

This blog I began on my second day in Vancouver. It has chronicled my entire time here, capturing the essence of what I felt and the thoughts going on inside me. I have one more week left here, and it almost time I end it. It has been a good excercise, allowing me to express my thoughts and forcing me to be honest since I am not the only reader. But I am glad to be leaving it behind...there is too much heaviness here. Thank you to all those who have followed along on this journey.

I am glad to be moving forward again and I am excited to see what is to come.